Shopping assistant

The usual picture is this: Girl goes shopping, man tags along, carries her bags. It has never quite been the case for us. I don’t shop like a girl. But KK does.

Let me explain: How I shop is, I find that I am deficient in something (say moisturizer). I hit the mall, head straight for the moisturizer, I buy it, I get out. Or, more commonly nowadays, I need to buy presents for kids. I head to the toy shop or bookshop, grab the bunch, get out.

KK likes to browse. Check things out. Waltz in and out of golf shops / sports shops / G2000 / hardware shops and the like. What catches his fancy at the moment, he buys.

I have to admit, I am not a wife who buys clothes and underwear and all that jazz for KK. Instead, I have the pleasure of him coming back with shorts and shirts for me. Usually it’s when he finds the state of my belongings utterly unacceptable.

So when we go to the malls, this is our usual picture: Man goes shopping, wife tags along, supervises the kids. He goes off on his own, my eyes go off in three directions as three kids play catch under shirts and over benches. I hiss: "Walk, don’t run! Talk, don’t shout!" But of course nobody really listens to me. Then KK beckons: Is this nice?

I sigh, hiss - Come here, papa is trying on something! – push the pram and marshall all the kids over to where he is and give my honest opinion. On hindsight it’s all quite funny. And sometimes we try and have a bit of fun. Day complains: Why are we ALWAYS buying papa’s things and not my things? I say: We DO! We DO look at your things! The only person who doesn’t look at anything is mummy!

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Celebrating KK's life

This blog is dedicated to Loh Kar Kheng, known to his friends as KK or Kheng. He died unexpectedly on Thursday, 21st October 2021, in an accident. He was a Professional Engineer who loved his job, an inspiring coach and mentor, a passionate and gifted sportsman, a leader, a biker, a dedicated father. In the years from 2004 to 2017, I maintained a family blog. These extracts celebrate his life. They capture his resilience and drive, overcoming the odds, to become a top-notch engineer (he just won a BCA award 3 weeks before he died, for his work on the new State courts - stories here and here ), his sporting passions and his love for his children. The blog goes hand-in-hand with a memorial page here . If you have a story about what he said, what he did, if he inspired you or what you remember of him, do leave it there. It would mean a lot to us. Thank you so much. Love, KK's family

The conclusion?

Finally, today, 16 months after his death, I receive the police investigation report and Coroner's Certificate for KK's death in my inbox. Apart from a few small things, this would be the last chapter in the book of things I have to settle. The findings do not tell me anything. I have bolded the main conclusion. Extracts from it: Further investigations revealed that around 11.00 a.m. on 21 October 2021, Mr Loh had texted his friend inviting him to go for a kite surfing session together. Later that afternoon, at about 1.30 p.m., they met up at the west side of Bedok jetty beach front and prepared their equipment. They had set off separately, with Mr Loh's friend starting his kite surf first, followed shortly after by Mr Loh on his hydrofoil board. That was the last time the friend saw Mr Loh. As they were surfing separately, the friend had assumed that Mr Loh decided to surf far down west and did not take further notice of him. At the material time, there were also other f

Steak dinners

A month passes. We are doing fine. The kids will forever associate KK with steak dinners, on Sunday nights. Day takes over. He tosses the steaks into KK's beloved cast-iron pan, bastes it furiously with butter. Fries up some mushroom sauce, the way his Papa used to. Its either too rare, or slightly over. "Can you buy good steaks which are of even thickness? I can't cook it evenly if its thin one side and thick the other," Day scolds. We have dinner with KK. The kids giggle. They usually end off with Don Don Donki-quality sweet potatoes in the oven toaster. I'll get those potatoes next time.

Stories of KK

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