Stories of KK

It's been nearly five years. My funeral director friend (she did KK's funeral) asks if the kids want to contribute something to her Father's Day social media campaign. I say I'll ask, but I bear little hope they will make the effort. To my surprise, two of them do. The one who is most leery of image and photo choice and perception does not participate. Here is what #1 and #3 say, and the photos which they approved of: One of your most memorable memories with Dad? When he took me along to learn kite surfing together. I remember we left Singapore for Bintan on a Friday and I skipped school that day to follow him. We spent 2-3 days doing nothing but kite surfing along the shore of Bintan. With any other person, I would have considered the trip not enjoyable. The drive from the jetty to the hotel was bumpy and uncomfortable, the food was average, and the hotel was 2 stars at best. But the fact that I could spend some time together with him away from school made the trip wor...

It's been four years. The children and I are all blessedly OK. We are living in the same family home and they are following very normal, unremarkable life trajectories. May that be the case for many more years. #1 will be finishing his NS stint in the Naval Diving Unit at the end of this year. It's nice that he went into NDU, since KK was a commando. #2 has gotten a NUS scholarship and is studying Industrial Systems Engineering. She is staying in the hostel and is very much a grown-up now. Her favourite subject is Physics like her Papa. #3 has informed me that she managed to clear JC Year 1 by the skin of her teeth and will get promoted to Year 2. They are all good, sensible kids who try very hard not to waste my money. KK would have been so proud of them all. I am soldiering along, freelance writing.

Finally, today, 16 months after his death, I receive the police investigation report and Coroner's Certificate for KK's death in my inbox. Apart from a few small things, this would be the last chapter in the book of things I have to settle. The findings do not tell me anything. I have bolded the main conclusion. Extracts from it: Further investigations revealed that around 11.00 a.m. on 21 October 2021, Mr Loh had texted his friend inviting him to go for a kite surfing session together.  Later that afternoon, at about 1.30 p.m., they met up at the west side of Bedok jetty beach front and prepared their equipment. They had set off separately, with Mr Loh's friend starting his kite surf first, followed shortly after by Mr Loh on his hydrofoil board. That was the last time the friend saw Mr Loh.  As they were surfing separately, the friend had assumed that Mr Loh decided to surf far down west and did not take further notice of him. At the material time, there were also other f...

Today is the 1st anniversary of KK's death. I suppose this would be an update of sorts. His Estate I would say about 50 percent of things have been settled. Some insurance policies have been paid out, I have sold the car, sold the motorbike, cleared off most of his possessions, obtained probate from the court, changed ownership of the home from joint to single owner, wound down his company. The police investigation is still ongoing (I'm not sure what they are investigating precisely), some insurance is still unpaid because of the lack of a coroner's report, some bank accounts still need to be resolved, there is some complex stuff that needs to be sorted out. I don't think I am doing a good job of this. The bureaucracy of death is truly quite sickening. There is also the fact that I would make a lousy accountant or auditor. I'm just not good with paper trails and chasing down every loose end. There are bazillions of loose ends still hanging, which I am not even bothe...

If KK had gone beyond 50, he would have turned 51 today. Our firstborn David shares the same birthday. It’s always been a double celebration. This year, David goes first. On the actual day, we have the steak dinner and cut the cake for KK. The kids help to blow out the lone candle on the cake but we do away with singing the birthday song. That would really be too weird.

A month passes. We are doing fine. The kids will forever associate KK with steak dinners, on Sunday nights. Day takes over. He tosses the steaks into KK's beloved cast-iron pan, bastes it furiously with butter. Fries up some mushroom sauce, the way his Papa used to. Its either too rare, or slightly over. "Can you buy good steaks which are of even thickness? I can't cook it evenly if its thin one side and thick the other," Day scolds. We have dinner with KK. The kids giggle. They usually end off with Don Don Donki-quality sweet potatoes in the oven toaster. I'll get those potatoes next time.